Unearthed Emotions
by 4ebitter
Summary: This is a sad story about my fav Character Hiei. Is a song fic and my first one also a one shot. I am not really good as this summary thing but I hope you will still give it a chance. It's mainly HxK but it has some HxY and SxY so hope u like it R&R plz.


**Unearthed Emotions**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakuso or any of its components. I also don't own "From the Inside" by linking park. But I sure do love and appreciate them! ^^ The only one I own is Leliky and I 3 her 2!

AN: This is my first song fic, and one-shot…wow I'm full of first's lol. Hope you enjoy even though it will be a little sad. Hope you enjoy and comment so you can let me know what you think.

Warning: This has yaoi and yuri references so if you can't handle it please don't read it, thank you.

Why was it that every time he was injured it rained? Was it because the sky was crying for his pain? Or that someone out there felt sorry for him? Or that there was a being laughing so hard at his pain that started to cry from uncontrollable laughter? Probably the lather. For who would feel pain for him, he was a, nobody. He was someone that had made his way in the world with a river of blood following his path. No one could know all of the evil deeds he had done in the past, not even Koenma. For if they knew they would have never ever let him become part of the group…their group. The Rekai Tentai…his supposed 'family'. What a joke, for what he had experienced in the human world, 'family' was of big importance. They were supposed to look out for each other, to make each other happy…well at least in normal cases.

_I don__'__t know who to trust _

_No surprise _

But even though they attested to be his 'family', no one really cared for him. No, they just pretended to care for him. They didn't really…no one did care. Every time he came back from Makai for a visit he learned of something big and important that had happened while he was away. A big, important, unrepeatable event that he had not been a part of. Why did they say he was 'family' when he was never part of anything important?

_Everyone feels so far away from me _

He had been surprised in the beginning when the first important event had happened, one that had been told to him after he had come for his routine visit. Yusuke's and Keiko's wedding. He had walked in to find them snuggling in a couch at Genkai's temple. While Keiko sported a pregnant stomach and a diamond ring on her finger, to say he was surprised was an understatement. While the rest of the group enjoyed themselves without a care in the world since it was Yukina's birthday party; something he had already known the date for since it was his own birthday. They had looked at him surprised as if no one was expecting him. Yukina had been the first to break out her stupor and welcome him. Then the rest followed however, it was with a hesitance that would have done a skittish mare proud.

_Heavy thoughts sift through dust _

_And the lies _

They had told him many excuses since that time for every important memory that he missed. For Yusuke's wedding it had been that they didn't think that he would have cared to come. For Christmas they didn't know where he was. For new years they had though he was busy. For Koenma's and Botan's engagement party they had said that it had been such a spontaneous thing that they hadn't had time to look for him. They had excuses for every holiday wedding and birthday, ongoing excuses for two years running. Excuses…huh...more like lies.

_Trying not to break _

_But I__'__m so tired of this deceit _

_Every time I try to make myself _

_Get back up on my feet _

He didn't belong. They didn't want him there that is why they were always so surprised when he arrived. Looking into himself and the hurt he felt every time, shame was all he found. He hated himself and the disgusting emotions he was feeling. He hated himself for feeling like an abandoned child all over again. How cruel they were for taking away his walls and defenses with imagined care and just when he had started to feel again. To feel a sense of child like wonder into the world of those who loved; they took it out from the shaky ground underneath his feet and made him spiral down into an abyss of emptiness, one deeper than the one he had been in before. Because before he didn't know care or companionship, and since he didn't know it he didn't need it. But now, now that he knew those feelings he didn't know how to cope without them.

_All I ever think about is this _

_All the tiring time between _

No matter where he went and what he did in his missions and his patrols for Mukuro he was unable to forget. He still remembered a time when they cared whether he lived or died. A time when he would at least have a companion either in the battle field or in his bed. Yes, in his bed he still remembered when Yusuke had left his brunette to experiment demonic pleasures and had come to him for them. He had been surprised at first that he hadn't gone to the fox first but later it was to become clear. For after spending one night under the covers, one of many, Yusuke had told him that their little rendezvous was over. He had wanted to ask why but held his tongue as Yusuke dressed himself and went for 'a walk' which essentially meant that when he came back he wanted him gone. He packed his few belongings and flitted trough the window. Only to find out a week later that Yusuke hadn't gone to Kurama first because he was inexperienced. Essentially he had used him for practice and now with experience he was free to pursue the fox, flirting with him every free second. That was when the first pain had started, the first betrayal suffered at the hands of one whom he had learned to love. Then it just became worst and worst and it gradually reached into this place in time, a time filled with continuous abandonment.

_And how _

_Trying to put my trust in you _

_Just takes so much out of me _

One day, as he walked toward a portal after another one of his atrocious visits. In this visit he had found that Yusuke's and Keiko's daughter, Leliky, was now two years old, he had missed her second birthday and she was very upset. Since the very first day she had seen him she had taken to him, to the surprise and in his opinion dismay of the group or 'family'. She had blamed him for not being there. And she had told him that it was not that he didn't know it was that he really didn't want to be there, and that is why he hadn't bothered to investigate or to even ask. In his anger he had walked away as she cried with the whole group coming to see what had made little Leliky cry. As he walked he could hear her crying and screaming for him not to go. She screamed as if her heart was ripping, but he could go back to her. He knew that if he did they would jump on the opportunity to tell him to never come back. They wanted him gone he knew but somehow he couldn't leave and never come back, but he would leave…for now; so he flitted away and started to leave and go to Makai in the nearest portal. Or so he thought.

_I take everything from the inside _

_And throw it all away _

Right before he would have stepped through the portal he felt a fist colliding with his cheek and he jumped backwards. He looked into the flashing from green to silver eyes of Kurama in his redhead ningen form. He stared at Kurama and was about to insult him when Kurama interrupted. "Why do you always leave?" Kurama screamed, "We wait for you, we wait to see if you will ask about our lives. To see if you even care about us and what goes on in our lives but you never bother to." He recoiled as if been hit again. "We try and follow your progress through the missions you take but it is not the same. We want to see if you are alright…I…I want to see if you're alright!" "Liar", he said under his breath. "What, why would I lie your important to us you are important to me." "Huh, no I am not…you know I am not." "But---" Kurama shouted clearly flustered and uncharacteristically out of balance. But he was interrupted. "I was as important like you say I wouldn't need to ask I would be invited, if I was important you would all not recoil when you saw me." He cried desperately. "I know Keiko has reason to dislike me but if at the end you were all going to betray me you shouldn't have made me believe…" "Believe what?" Kurama said, with tears running down his beautiful face. "…That I was part of your 'family'" he whispered looking down. "You made me believe I was cared for, made me feel these disgusting emotions and then you all betrayed me, even you." "No Hiei I didn't, no of us did! We though you would not like to be obligated with us, that if we pressured you too much you would leave and never come back!" Hiei looked up to the sincere eyes of the fox. "Leliky thought that since you cared about her you would come to her birthday for sure that you would bother to care enough to find out when it was because you would have wanted to come…don't you see we love you…I…lo-- " "Shut up, you are still a conniving swindler and thief Kurama you almost got me, but love, huh, no one would love the forbidden child" as he said that he flitted away into the portal faster than the speed of light, with a heavy heart. All the while Hearing Kurama shouting his name as the portal closed behind him. He wanted to believe Kurama he really did but, no, he would fall for it again. He was alone and from now on he knew that he would keep it that way and he would never interact with his 'family' again.

'_Cause I swear _

_For the last time _

_I won__'__t trust myself with you _

Keeping his vow had been a harder endeavor than he had first thought. For years his 'family' had ignored him they had never sent him messages or cared to visit before. But that seemed to all have changed. They now were frequent visitors of Mukoro's castle, having gained permission from the demon in order to better alliances with the Mazoku and his territory. He never met with them or even looked in on them. He didn't read the letters they wrote and sent to him, but he couldn't find it in himself to throw them away either. Now after three months of continuous unanswered visits and letters he was ready to face them, even if just to tell them to go away. But then he saw them and for a moment he forgot what he was angry about and started to smile, only to hold himself back as they noticed his presence in the parlor. "Since you are here and visiting I must appear as a show of good hosting and good will, I however I do not trust any of you." As some started to mumble and protest and others just looked to him sadly two of them being Leliky and Kurama. "Unlike you all I have duties to perform so entertain yourselves as you have for the past three months." He finished and flitted away without looking back to the disappointed faces of his peers.

_Tension is building inside _

_Steadily _

_Everyone feel so far away from me _

_Heavy thoughts forcing their way _

_Out of me _

Since by the fourth month they hadn't even gained true acknowledgement of their presence from him they had decided to call his attention with a different tactic. A party, a party to commemorate all of the special dates and memories he had missed. This had, of course, been an idea of the fox, and a contributing two year old. They had sent him word with Mukuro that the party would be in his honor and that by order of Mukuro he was obligated to attend. Not that he would have listened if his heart hadn't been softened by the persistence of these people….by the persistence of Kurama, who would come and speak to him through the door without fail even though he never answered him. He looked forward to Kurama's talks and was never disappointed; Kurama hadn't failed him so he would not fail him.

_I won__'__t trust myself with you _

_I won__'__t waste myself on you _

_Waste myself on you _

_You_

He destroyed yet another tree with a fireball; he was an idiot for believing in their act. They had known and yet they were too cruel to let him know. What a fool he was for believing they cared for falling into the same crap again. Had they planned this?

He still remembered, it was the night before the party and he was waiting for Kurama's nightly conversation visit. The fox had been punctual as always, and began to talk and fill him in, in any tidbit of missed memory he could remember. It had been as all the other nights with one major difference. Right before he would have usually said good night to him and left for his room he started speaking again. "I know you don't trust us completely or if any yet and I understand." Silence answered Kurama. "But I have to tell you this now, before anything else pops up" always quiet for a few seconds as he waited expectantly for the information been given to him. "I love---" That is when he opened the door to his room looking at Kurama with a shocked expression. Then breaking out of his stupor he moved aside to let Kurama into his chambers. Then they started looking at each other intensely. He didn't know what Kurama was searching for but he found what he looked for…sincerity. He made the first move toward Kurama's face. He put his palms up to Kurama's cheeks and guided him down for their first kiss. A kiss that was started with a tentative taste and that had suddenly been thrown in a frenzy of passion as their ardor rouse expeditiously. They tumbled into bed shedding their clothes on the way. Right before Kurama started to unbutton his pants he stopped. "Are you sure?" Kurama asked as he looked deep into his eyes. "If I wasn't I would have never opened the door."

The day of the party he felt as if all that was told to him was real, that they really did care and were just waiting for him from the start. He could still remember Kurama telling him he loved him all through the night. He had left and exhausted Kurama in his bed as he decided he would go visit everyone and let them know he was ready to heal. As he walked down the stairs he could hear some of the girls talking animatedly, and smiled to himself. Just as he was going to let his presence be known he started to hear what they were saying and stopped dead cold and leaned against the wall to hear. "I am so exited for you Shizuru, but how are you guys going to tell him?" Keiko sporting a whole new pregnant stomach asked. "Well both Kurama and Yukina told me it was going to be alright and they are the ones who know him best." Shizuru responded with a smile. "Well that is true, Kurama was so excited about this that he almost spilled the beans, as you ningens say, to him" Botan said. "I even talked about it with Shiori and she said it would be wonderful and that he would understand" answered. "Love is a hard thing to even contemplate to control no one could have know this would happen, it was unexpected" said Yukina entering the parlor from the dining room entry way. He could bear to hear anymore and sped off into the forest before they could utter another heart breaking sentence. He failed to hear and see the next piece of crucial information. "Yes who would have thought that the two of you would fall in love?" Keiko smiled as she said. As she said that Yukina and Shizuru embraced each other and said at the same time, "No one" before sharing a quick kiss and smiling at each other. Meanwhile he ran and to where he did not know. What he did know was that they had all lied to him and that he would never feel anything but hate again. He now knew his purpose in life. It was not to heal and love but to let his name be known forever. To let it be known forever as Hiei…Hiei Jaganshi the Callous Killer of all three worlds. An unfeeling and cold evil entity that would destroy, kill and maim…anyone and anything. A true killer one contrived of pretentious love.

So I hope it was okay and that you enjoyed it. If you get a chance let me know it was okay so……

Comment if you can and PLZ enjoy your day!!!

Adios ~ Ja Ne


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